And Now...For something completely different

There are Jews in the world,
there are Buddhists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I've never been one of them...

I'm a Roman Catholic,
and have been since the day I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics,
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm...

You don't have to be a six-footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on -
You're a Catholic the moment dad came...
because...

Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs,
on the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for each sperm that can't be found
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine,
God needs everybody's,
Mine And mine And mine Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain,
God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.